Finding Love: How To Attract Your Ideal Partner

Finding Love: How To Attract Your Ideal Partner

Finding Love: How To Attract Your Ideal Partner

Finding Love: A Never-ending Sea of ‘Maybes’

For the human heart, there’s no one path more doggedly pursued than that of finding love. Although, by its very essence, the heart IS love, it yearns to know this. It seeks to find a worldly, tangible expression of it, and though it is entirely possible to do so in solitary pursuits (art is the most commonly used example, but it can be found in any field that allows a proper flowering across years of lone practice), the trail most commonly taken up is that of personal relationships, particularly marriage.

It’s no secret that a large number of couples marry for the wrong reasons (often failing to realize this until after the contract) finding they’re simply not compatible in the long run. The reasons for this are far too numerous and complex to list here — and besides, it’s a personal thing ;).

While we’ve written before about the myth of ‘the one’, there may, in some cases, be such a thing as an on-going ‘right one’ (you are both VERBS, after all) or one that continues — for a long time, possibly even for life — to work out very well, for both of you.

If so, a three-pronged approach is essential: head, heart and sexual attraction. Go by just one of these and results will undoubtedly vary. Put them together in a wise way, and you may just have success in finding love through an ‘ideal’ partner. Personally, I believe you can attract almost anything you want— IF you do it right.

However, you should first know that an ideal partner is not a perfect partner. There is no such thing as a perfect partner. But if you’re getting serious and considering a relationship that could lead to marriage and/or family, learning how to attract your ideal partner is a must in the journey of finding love.

Do You Think ‘Finding Love’ is About Them? Wrong!

This is the mistake most commonly made, as it is such a deep part of the subconscious programming we’ve received since we were born. With nearly all institutions (religious, educational, familial, etc) both directly and subliminally inculcating us with the idea that the other always comes first from the time we’re born, it’s no wonder most of are confused when it comes to the honest, simple — yet incredibly powerful — needs of the heart.

But the longer we ‘play the game’ and solidify the mask of persona into adulthood, the harder it becomes to even recognize this and simply, openly, address the needs of our heart first, as we intuitively did as young children.

Trained to search for, gather and gain satisfaction from the outside world all our lives, it can often be long into our twilight years before we slow down enough to realize that all we ever had to do was take the time to open the treasure box we are first, and go from there.

So this is the main key. On the road to finding love and attracting a partner that will enliven your life, you need to first become the person you want to be. If you work to become your own highest ideal (in other words, what feels good and right to you, not your friends, family or society) you will have much better luck attracting someone who resonates with that — someone who fits your ‘puzzle pieces’ far more organically than not. If you think about this, even for a short while, it makes sense — it’s totally practical.

Don’t waste time thinking that your life will change automatically; you must be the agent of change. If you strive to be the best version of yourself, discovering and developing your own gifts and talents — by finding the bravery to be vulnerable enough to do so — you allow yourself real growth and maturity.

It’s all about what you bring to the table. If you develop qualities in yourself that you admire, it will literally make you attractive to someone else who admires them, and probably possesses similar qualities of authentic self-love themselves.

For example, if getting fit and becoming financially stable is something that you’ve always wanted to do, and feels right to you — get on it! After a while, once you are steady in these habits, others who have them as well will gravitate to you, and you may just find yourself with a fit, financially stable partner. 

On top of all that, going about it this way will leave you needing little from that other person — you’re not a ‘project’, or someone with a lot of ‘issues’ — you’re someone who feels good about themselves, which leads to the next point…

Happiness Is The Truth

You don’t need other people to make you happy. This is one of the biggest fallacies of romantic relationships. The hard truth is that you alone are responsible for your own happiness, and the standards therein. If you wait for other people to make you happy, you may, as mentioned earlier, find out 20 years down the road, that it just doesn’t work.

Authentic happiness (not a phony ‘social’ version) — in whatever form it comes in — is a magnet. It is very attractive. People want to meet those who are happy because they want some of that goodness! They want to know what it is that makes you so happy. And, if you are happy, it is highly likely that you will also attract a partner who is happy.

(It is important to point out here that ‘happiness’ doesn’t mean smiling 24/7, forever in the ‘same’ mood, no matter the situation — it means that you’re living authentically, not afraid to face challenges and feel your feelings and move forward in what you — not what the world tells you, or your fear — know in your heart to be right. In the long run, this creates an undercurrent of real happiness and satisfaction that can be felt by others, despite the inevitable ups and downs this ever-challenging world continues to present us with.) 

Appreciation: A ‘Cliche’ That ACTUALLY WORKS

The surest way to increase your happiness is learning to appreciate what you have — this includes the aspects of the ‘better you’ you’re working on, good friends and family, and, of course, the little things.

Ever notice how many complainers are around? This is because, somehow, as a society, we’ve been trained to constantly look at and comment on LACK. ‘This guy’s a jerk, that guy’s not doing his job right, some woman gave me a dirty look on the subway, there’s not enough money, not enough time…‘ So on and so forth. Everything is supposed to function perfectly all the time, and everyone else is supposed to fit into my worldview and meet my expectations all the time, or I just can’t be happy!

You see where I’m going with this? It’s an un-ending ‘negative-focus loop’.

Yes, it takes wisdom and insight to find the silver lining in most situations, but they’re there. If you can actually manage to cultivate a little kindness in mundane situations — holding a door, letting someone in in traffic, giving up your seat in transit for an elderly person — you’ll find it works like a virus.

Once you start doing this enough, it will become a habit, and it will affect your perspective on other things. And, when you show genuine appreciation for other people… it’s attractive. If you get really good, you may, in time, even come to find things to be grateful for from your past relationships, regardless of how they ended.

The Proof’s In The Pudding, So Get Tasting!

Through the above tips, you can increase your opportunities, in a very practical way, for finding an ideal partner that will make your life all the sweeter and more adventurous.

Don’t believe me? Give it a shot. I used these steps after the person I thought was to be my partner decided to break off the relationship without giving reasons.

Yet today, I’ve found the ideal person I was looking for, and am actually grateful for what my previous partner did by ending that relationship early enough for that to take place.

Remember, it’s often hard to tell why something occurs as it’s happening, so relax in your automatic judgements of it a little and allow time to provide you with perspective. Then, you may just find down the road that ‘good’ is ‘bad’ and ‘bad’ is good’ and you are, in gaining this insight, getting wiser, and closer to finding love in an ‘ideal’ version with every passing year.

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Finding Love: A Never-ending Sea of ‘Maybes’

For the human heart, there’s no one path more doggedly pursued than that of finding love. Although, by its very essence, the heart IS love, it yearns to know this. It seeks to find a worldly, tangible expression of it, and though it is entirely possible to do so in solitary pursuits (art is the most commonly used example, but it can be found in any field that allows a proper flowering across years of lone practice), the trail most commonly taken up is that of personal relationships, particularly marriage.

It’s no secret that a large number of couples marry for the wrong reasons (often failing to realize this until after the contract) finding they’re simply not compatible in the long run. The reasons for this are far too numerous and complex to list here — and besides, it’s a personal thing ;).

While we’ve written before about the myth of ‘the one’, there may, in some cases, be such a thing as an on-going ‘right one’ (you are both VERBS, after all) or one that continues — for a long time, possibly even for life — to work out very well, for both of you.

If so, a three-pronged approach is essential: head, heart and sexual attraction. Go by just one of these and results will undoubtedly vary. Put them together in a wise way, and you may just have success in finding love through an ‘ideal’ partner. Personally, I believe you can attract almost anything you want— IF you do it right.

However, you should first know that an ideal partner is not a perfect partner. There is no such thing as a perfect partner. But if you’re getting serious and considering a relationship that could lead to marriage and/or family, learning how to attract your ideal partner is a must in the journey of finding love.

Do You Think ‘Finding Love’ is About Them? Wrong!

This is the mistake most commonly made, as it is such a deep part of the subconscious programming we’ve received since we were born. With nearly all institutions (religious, educational, familial, etc) both directly and subliminally inculcating us with the idea that the other always comes first from the time we’re born, it’s no wonder most of are confused when it comes to the honest, simple — yet incredibly powerful — needs of the heart.

But the longer we ‘play the game’ and solidify the mask of persona into adulthood, the harder it becomes to even recognize this and simply, openly, address the needs of our heart first, as we intuitively did as young children.

Trained to search for, gather and gain satisfaction from the outside world all our lives, it can often be long into our twilight years before we slow down enough to realize that all we ever had to do was take the time to open the treasure box we are first, and go from there.

So this is the main key. On the road to finding love and attracting a partner that will enliven your life, you need to first become the person you want to be. If you work to become your own highest ideal (in other words, what feels good and right to you, not your friends, family or society) you will have much better luck attracting someone who resonates with that — someone who fits your ‘puzzle pieces’ far more organically than not. If you think about this, even for a short while, it makes sense — it’s totally practical.

Don’t waste time thinking that your life will change automatically; you must be the agent of change. If you strive to be the best version of yourself, discovering and developing your own gifts and talents — by finding the bravery to be vulnerable enough to do so — you allow yourself real growth and maturity.

It’s all about what you bring to the table. If you develop qualities in yourself that you admire, it will literally make you attractive to someone else who admires them, and probably possesses similar qualities of authentic self-love themselves.

For example, if getting fit and becoming financially stable is something that you’ve always wanted to do, and feels right to you — get on it! After a while, once you are steady in these habits, others who have them as well will gravitate to you, and you may just find yourself with a fit, financially stable partner. 

On top of all that, going about it this way will leave you needing little from that other person — you’re not a ‘project’, or someone with a lot of ‘issues’ — you’re someone who feels good about themselves, which leads to the next point…

Happiness Is The Truth

You don’t need other people to make you happy. This is one of the biggest fallacies of romantic relationships. The hard truth is that you alone are responsible for your own happiness, and the standards therein. If you wait for other people to make you happy, you may, as mentioned earlier, find out 20 years down the road, that it just doesn’t work.

Authentic happiness (not a phony ‘social’ version) — in whatever form it comes in — is a magnet. It is very attractive. People want to meet those who are happy because they want some of that goodness! They want to know what it is that makes you so happy. And, if you are happy, it is highly likely that you will also attract a partner who is happy.

(It is important to point out here that ‘happiness’ doesn’t mean smiling 24/7, forever in the ‘same’ mood, no matter the situation — it means that you’re living authentically, not afraid to face challenges and feel your feelings and move forward in what you — not what the world tells you, or your fear — know in your heart to be right. In the long run, this creates an undercurrent of real happiness and satisfaction that can be felt by others, despite the inevitable ups and downs this ever-challenging world continues to present us with.) 

Appreciation: A ‘Cliche’ That ACTUALLY WORKS

The surest way to increase your happiness is learning to appreciate what you have — this includes the aspects of the ‘better you’ you’re working on, good friends and family, and, of course, the little things.

Ever notice how many complainers are around? This is because, somehow, as a society, we’ve been trained to constantly look at and comment on LACK. ‘This guy’s a jerk, that guy’s not doing his job right, some woman gave me a dirty look on the subway, there’s not enough money, not enough time…‘ So on and so forth. Everything is supposed to function perfectly all the time, and everyone else is supposed to fit into my worldview and meet my expectations all the time, or I just can’t be happy!

You see where I’m going with this? It’s an un-ending ‘negative-focus loop’.

Yes, it takes wisdom and insight to find the silver lining in most situations, but they’re there. If you can actually manage to cultivate a little kindness in mundane situations — holding a door, letting someone in in traffic, giving up your seat in transit for an elderly person — you’ll find it works like a virus.

Once you start doing this enough, it will become a habit, and it will affect your perspective on other things. And, when you show genuine appreciation for other people… it’s attractive. If you get really good, you may, in time, even come to find things to be grateful for from your past relationships, regardless of how they ended.

The Proof’s In The Pudding, So Get Tasting!

Through the above tips, you can increase your opportunities, in a very practical way, for finding an ideal partner that will make your life all the sweeter and more adventurous.

Don’t believe me? Give it a shot. I used these steps after the person I thought was to be my partner decided to break off the relationship without giving reasons.

Yet today, I’ve found the ideal person I was looking for, and am actually grateful for what my previous partner did by ending that relationship early enough for that to take place.

Remember, it’s often hard to tell why something occurs as it’s happening, so relax in your automatic judgements of it a little and allow time to provide you with perspective. Then, you may just find down the road that ‘good’ is ‘bad’ and ‘bad’ is good’ and you are, in gaining this insight, getting wiser, and closer to finding love in an ‘ideal’ version with every passing year.

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You have numerous options: daily, bi-weekly (twice a week) or weekly, and you are free to unsubscribe at anytime. All of our user’s data is 100% safe-guarded, and you’ll only, ever, hear from us.