“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” ~ Henry Ford
Relationships can either make or break our happiness. Staying together can be tough if you don’t have the right relationship tools to keep you in harmony with your loved one. These couples got it right — they’ve been together for over 50 years and not only are they still together, but they are happy and thriving! Here’s some tips from couples that have been together for 50+ years.
Communicate! Although it may feel like the last thing you want to do when you’re upset, in many situations it is best to talk it out. Show your partner you are there to communicate — not to shout or argue — but to communicate. Let yourself calm down from the argument and come to a neutral space so that you can really communicate. Try to recognize the other person as ‘you’. In other words, a human being that has the same storm of thoughts, emotions, needs and fears. This will help to keep you from seeing them as the ‘enemy’ during tough times, and to keep the communication flowing, and keep the connection growing.
Be Kind. Strive to use language that is respectful and uplifting. Showing your affection through words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ show that no matter how much time has passed, there is still appreciation. Avoid harsh, negative language that will only serve to make the other person feel undervalued, disrespected and ultimately break the bond in the relationship.
Above all, let your partner know you care about them through your actions. When we are kind and caring, our partners feel comfortable and heard.
Sexiness wears thin after a while... but a man who makes you laugh every day, now that’s a real treat. ~ J Woodward Click To Tweet
Humor, laugh it off. The way to a happy and long marriage is to be able to have some fun and to laugh with each other. As Rosemary Kreder , 91, said; “he always makes me laugh… his jokes are so bad that they’re actually funny. And he always waits for the laugh.”
When it gets too serious, its good to have a joke to lighten things up. Couples that laugh together, stay together.
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” ~ Sam Keen
True love is when we accept our significant other’s imperfections and see that this is, in many ways, what makes them perfect. (This does not, of course, mean that we continuously look past behaviors that are truly abusive, however overt or subtle they may be. The key is developing the wisdom to understand the difference.)
Over time, we can forget what made us fall in love in the first place. It is important to remember and to feel gratitude for our partner’s imperfections, because it is these idiosyncracies that make them human, and give them their uniqueness. And it is only through the eyes of love that we can come to a develop a deep reverence for this.
Forgive. Learn to let go. Would you rather be happy or would you rather be right? Sometimes we need to learn to let an argument go and to choose our battles. Most things are not as important as we think, and many are often simply our ego seeking validation. Choosing to forgive allows us to step into a state of healing and connection once again.
A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~ Anne Taylor Fleming Click To Tweet
Honor your differences. We all have different hobbies and activities we like to do and it’s important we do some with our partner. However, we also need to take time for our own activities. It is finding the balance between doing things together and taking some space to work on individual projects. When we do so, we have more variety to offer the relationship and the energy becomes less stagnant.
Help each other out. When one is overwhelmed it can be so refreshing when their partner pitches in. If you see your love is having a hard time, offer to help. This lets them know they are not alone and you are there to support them. Even if you don’t enjoy the activity, it means so much to your partner (more, even) because, as mentioned in Tip#2, it’s an act of kindness. If you want to resolve conflict, many times just offering to help and be of service can do the job.